Misogynist Black Men Who Claim Weaves Are Self Hate….Please Have a Seat!

Weaves Are Self Hate

No matter what choice we make for our hair, black women will never escape some form of criticism. If we choose to wear our hair natural it’s deemed as “unprofessional” in some spaces. If we wear relaxers we are called self-haters and if you wear weaves watch out! Some keyboard warriors have even coined women who wear weaves as “hair hats”, a term I have a big issue with, but I will get to this shortly.

Firstly, yes, there are some women who feel insecure without wearing weaves, but in and of themselves they are not a form of self hate. Otherwise everyone woman who has worn makeup is a self hater,  or women who wear padded bras or spanx, the list could go on and on!

Now back to the “hair hat” thing. I feel like every time I see this being used it is coming ironically from self-hating black people. Mainly misogynist angry black men who feel they have the right to police how all black women should wear their hair. Here is the problem with this:

xotica hair

  • They claim that black women are trying to be something they are not by wearing weave that looks European and when white women wear weaves it looks like their own texture. This totally ignores the rise of women like myself who love wearing kinky curly weaves that resemble their true texture.  Also are wearing braid or twist extensions self hating too, although this is clearly an embrace of our culture? And if I wanted to wear a straight weave, so what?
  • Often these people have no idea what is required to grow and maintain black hair. Being that a lot of this backlash is coming from black males, if they have never went through the phase of wearing long hair then they truly don’t have an understanding of the maintenance required.
  • Especially if they don’t have a tightly coiled kinky textured hair type, then they really have no idea what they are talking about and should kindly have a seat!!! I love to go a few months of just letting my hair be free, but the the truth is if I did that all the time my hair would simply break. Which is why I like to turn to protective styles like crochet braids to avoid this from happening.  My hair like many kinky textured ladies just cannot handle a lot of manipulation, the more it is styled, combed, or brushed the less hair I retain. If you care for your hair properly weaves can be an effective way to grow your hair and if you are clueless as to how this is possible, then you clearly should stop speaking on something you don’t know about.
  • Will you be taking the 2 or 3 hours to style my hair when I need it? That’s right didn’t think so. Weaves are a protective style that keep me looking together consistently when I don’t have the time or feel like making time to style my hair.
  • This also ignores that sometimes wearing weave is more about experimentation.Crochet Senegalese Twists
    I wanted to try blonde hair, but I didn’t want to dye my real hair blonde because of the risk of damage. Plus I actually love my natural color and don’t want to change it. Wearing a straight wig or weave can be a way of achieving this style without having to suffer the consequences of heat damage, but of course this is ignored.
  • And yes…sometimes it is worn to help boost confidence. Many women who are on the journey to transition to natural hair use wigs and weaves until they have grown their natural hair as well as gotten it to a healthy state. Then they move onto never wearing weaves or wearing them every once in a while.
    Image of woman with kinky textured hair
    Now if they were to just wear their hair as is, with two different textures (relaxed ends & natural roots) and looking unhealthy these same people would be the ones to clown on these women.
  • These same people are the ones who boost colorism and “good hair” standards, that do make some women who are insecure feel they are not beautiful without straight long hair. And natural hair to them is probably only acceptable if you have a certain hair type.
  • What about women who are forced to wear straight weaves or styles because of the industry they are in (ex: journalism, music, acting, modeling)?
    https://youtu.be/xa3ABnTZStE


    Unfortunately in some careers you have to conform and fake it until you make it to get where you want to be. Then when you have made it you have more choice in how you choose to express yourself.
  • Don’t claim to know why a woman is wearing weave. For a great majority of us, we just like it! It is an accessory like anything else that we obviously find stylish and many of us feel just as beautiful with our own hair.
  • Why is there this need for men to bash women who wear weaves? How is this affecting them exactly? I think it’s sad because it seems like we are the only race where our men come up with terms like “hair hats” to demean their women…really sad. I think this really shows who the real self haters are here.
  • Don’t like weaves? Well everyone is entitled to their preferences. Just don’t date women who wear them, it’s that simple.

girl bye

Ladies, if anyone is giving you flack about wearing weaves, ignore it! You know best. If you know that you are relying one weaves to feel beautiful that’s one thing and you should work on addressing that. However, if that’s not the case, who cares? You have the right to present yourself the way you wish.

10 thoughts on “Misogynist Black Men Who Claim Weaves Are Self Hate….Please Have a Seat!”

  1. Weave is self hate. If you’re wearing weave that matches your texture, you’re in the minority. But it’s still wrong. Just know that hair is essentially the same as straight remy it’s just PROCESSED to have a curl. It does not come from women of a black race. Idk why y’all can’t be bothered to wear your hair out 24/7. Plenty of women do it. I have 3c-4b but I know dozens of 4c women who don’t make the excuses you do.

    I went natural five years ago and the amount of self love and respect I got from others increased during that time. Wearing someone else’s hair is barbaric, creepy, and men need to stop giving y’all attention when they see that you do it. My husband adores my natural hair and running his fingers through it. Fake hair covers up your natural pheromones and there is NO GOOD EXCUSE for wearing it. Do better!

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