No matter what choice we make for our hair, black women will never escape some form of criticism. If we choose to wear our hair natural it’s deemed as “unprofessional” in some spaces. If we wear relaxers we are called self-haters and if you wear weaves watch out! Some keyboard warriors have even coined women who wear weaves as “hair hats”, a term I have a big issue with, but I will get to this shortly.
Firstly, yes, there are some women who feel insecure without wearing weaves, but in and of themselves they are not a form of self hate. Otherwise everyone woman who has worn makeup is a self hater, or women who wear padded bras or spanx, the list could go on and on!
Now back to the “hair hat” thing. I feel like every time I see this being used it is coming ironically from self-hating black people. Mainly misogynist angry black men who feel they have the right to police how all black women should wear their hair. Here is the problem with this:
- They claim that black women are trying to be something they are not by wearing weave that looks European and when white women wear weaves it looks like their own texture. This totally ignores the rise of women like myself who love wearing kinky curly weaves that resemble their true texture. Also are wearing braid or twist extensions self hating too, although this is clearly an embrace of our culture? And if I wanted to wear a straight weave, so what?
- Often these people have no idea what is required to grow and maintain black hair. Being that a lot of this backlash is coming from black males, if they have never went through the phase of wearing long hair then they truly don’t have an understanding of the maintenance required.
- Especially if they don’t have a tightly coiled kinky textured hair type, then they really have no idea what they are talking about and should kindly have a seat!!! I love to go a few months of just letting my hair be free, but the the truth is if I did that all the time my hair would simply break. Which is why I like to turn to protective styles like crochet braids to avoid this from happening. My hair like many kinky textured ladies just cannot handle a lot of manipulation, the more it is styled, combed, or brushed the less hair I retain. If you care for your hair properly weaves can be an effective way to grow your hair and if you are clueless as to how this is possible, then you clearly should stop speaking on something you don’t know about.
- Will you be taking the 2 or 3 hours to style my hair when I need it? That’s right didn’t think so. Weaves are a protective style that keep me looking together consistently when I don’t have the time or feel like making time to style my hair.
- This also ignores that sometimes wearing weave is more about experimentation.
I wanted to try blonde hair, but I didn’t want to dye my real hair blonde because of the risk of damage. Plus I actually love my natural color and don’t want to change it. Wearing a straight wig or weave can be a way of achieving this style without having to suffer the consequences of heat damage, but of course this is ignored. - And yes…sometimes it is worn to help boost confidence. Many women who are on the journey to transition to natural hair use wigs and weaves until they have grown their natural hair as well as gotten it to a healthy state. Then they move onto never wearing weaves or wearing them every once in a while.
Now if they were to just wear their hair as is, with two different textures (relaxed ends & natural roots) and looking unhealthy these same people would be the ones to clown on these women. - These same people are the ones who boost colorism and “good hair” standards, that do make some women who are insecure feel they are not beautiful without straight long hair. And natural hair to them is probably only acceptable if you have a certain hair type.
- What about women who are forced to wear straight weaves or styles because of the industry they are in (ex: journalism, music, acting, modeling)?
Unfortunately in some careers you have to conform and fake it until you make it to get where you want to be. Then when you have made it you have more choice in how you choose to express yourself.
Ladies, if anyone is giving you flack about wearing weaves, ignore it! You know best. If you know that you are relying one weaves to feel beautiful that’s one thing and you should work on addressing that. However, if that’s not the case, who cares? You have the right to present yourself the way you wish.
Trust me, no REAL MAN is wanting to be with you or your several FAKE HAIR HATS. You were dismissed by REAL MEN once they saw that FAKE HAIR HAT on your head. You need to learn how to love yourself first and everything God gave you and learn how to appreciate that instead of getting mad that REAL MEN DON’T WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH YOU FAKE HAIR HAT. You are one immature BLACK GIRL. You are not a WOMAN by any stretch of the imagination.
Real men have better things to do with their time beside trolling natural hair blogs to worry about the hair choices of women he does not know. I don’t care that “real men” don’t want me, I am married. You clearly don’t read either. The article states if you don’t like women with weave then don’t date them. Take the article’s advice. Oh and stop being so angry life is too short :-).
Preach sister… Preach. I was just talking about this after someone on IG posted a pic 5 beautiful black women and 3 had protective styles and here go so called conscious black men talking about their hair. I think men who consume their days trolling pages are low key gay. What straight man worries about hair so much. And how do you tell a complete stranger how they feel about themselves? they’ve got too much time on hands.
Here we go with the old “you must be gay” narrative. 🙄 Let me tell you something little girl, “gay” …”men” are just like YOU …and are just as fake and phony As You are.
Because we real men are REAL we like realness and hate fakeness! You know damn well there’s not a single salient argument for these nasty smelling and funny looking hair hats that you self-hating black women wear trying to emulate the women you worship. You have no argument so you resort to the ad hominem attacks on straight men’s character.
Gay me in love the fact that so many of you black women where weaves …Because it makes it easier for them to blend in and harder for anybody to tell the difference because you look just like them and they look (and ACT) just like you. 😖🤔
I admit that some of you black women do look better wearing another womans natural hair instead of sporting your own natural hair. But for that matter some of you might look better …if you put a bag over your face or wore a mask. 😖
Regardless of what you look like I would have much more respect for you if you would wear your natural hair
As quiet as it may be kept it is impossible to go from ugly to cute just by putting on a hair hat. If you’re ugly the best you can do is be a little less ugly by wearing somebody else’s hair or some makeup.
I love my wife’s hair and I love everything about her and she has the type of hair that you black women by and sew in or glue in.
But if by the only way she could be as beautiful as she is was by wearing somebody else’s natural hair and hiding her own natural hair there’s no way in hell she be my wife today. No I would NOT accept her if she was a weaver!
why respnd when u clearly prefer white women? You dont like dark women with kinky hair so why are you even here?
Go to hell bullet bag
Alright First off let me say that I’m 100% for black women wearing their natural hair Long or Short, Nappy, or loose curls it doesn’t Matter The black Woman’s Natural Hair is beautiful I have and will never bash their Natural Hair But I hate weave and Always will and I believe it is definitely a form of self hate I mean think about it if Not for slavery Would black women even want their hair to look Europeanized?? Remember after blacks were free in society the whole reason black women started perming their Hair was to fit in with the whites.. White Women used to make fun of black women hair all the time Keep that in mind Now you might argue the case that black women don’t get weave from white hair etc But the fact is it doesn’t matter where the hair comes from if its straight hair.. Black women don’t naturally have straight hair unless mixed.. which we all are but I’m sure you understand what I mean Regardless the straight hair is Not black hair Black ppl nappy coarse hair is designed specifically to protect them from UV rays Its the melanin in their bodies that gives them nappy hair its an Evolutionary Advantage whereas straight hair is an evolutionary disadvantage Also I realize that black women also buy African type styles However I still don’t like it 1 its a lie I’m attracted to long hair yes but why would I want a women with fake long hair? Just like I like a women with a nice body but why would I want a women who got plastic surgery just to get it?? There’s nothing attractive about anything that’s fake Who wants something that’s fake when you can have authentic? Another reason I’m against it is y’all say “well we need these styles so that we can protect our hair so it doesn’t fall out” Have you ever stopped to think that its Not Natural for large amounts of hair to fall out? Have you ever thought that maybe if you do something to your hair and it falls out then that means you shouldn’t be doing it to your hair in the first place? Ex. Black women perming her hair straight, it falls out Your hair isn’t designed to be manipulated like that so Of course its gonna fall out It Maybe you should search for different ways of styling? Better diet, less chemicals idk just a thought.. But lastly I don’t like weave Bc its Not your real hair Appreciate, Love your real hair its Your hair Embrace it I’ve met multiple girls that came out and said they wear weave Bc they have bad hair This is a Lie there’s No such thing as Good or Bad hair This is something programmed into us by Slave Owners and if anything Like I said earlier Nappy Hair is an Evolutionary advantage so black hair would be considered good hair anyway Look I love black women I’m Hispanic btw But I’m mixed with African I never had Nappy hair its always been straight or Loose Curls and I take good care of my hair it takes almost an hour to do it and its pretty long so I know the struggle of real hair But in my opinion its worth it I love my hair I’m Not against black women at all Black Women are goddess But I’m completely against weave So I just don’t date women who wear it and never will but regardless of my opinion I hope more black woman start wearing their natural hair All the time and give up weaves
As a black women who prefers natural hair I agree completely. Its the lie black women tell themselves since the successful brainwashing of slavery. Weave is a form of self hate no matter how much you lie to yourselves. If it wasn’t for slavery, the dehumanization of Black people, the self hatred of Blackness and the obsession over whiteness (and anything close to it) we would never be wearing straight weaves and wigs.
I have already given up on my sisters. They are too deep in the obsession and worship of white people and deep down you all know it, cause you all make article after article, blog posts, forum poet convincing others and the world that it’s not self hate, that “its just a preference, it protects my hair, easier to manage.
Black people (not just women, men too) are still the successful product of slavery and unless we address this, we will still be the #1 race throwing money at asian men to buy $500 of weave to glue and sew to your scalps while the world STILL thinks we look crazy obsessed over white women.
It’s just like colorism, we never wanna face the problem, we lie so much to convince ourselves otherwise.
Black people are indeed lost. It’s depressing we still worship the ones who enslaved us and brainwashed us.
But what about extensions that resemble Afro textured hair? Or braid extensions (which is something we were doing long before slavery)?
Well written, Love natural?😘
I disagree with you on weaves. So does that make me a misogynist? Just to let you know am am a woman not a man. So you can’t say I’m ignorant on this topic.
No, It doesn’t make you a misogynist. Doesn’t make a man a misogynist either if he doesn’t care for women who wear them. What I disagree with is people going out of their way trying to make women feel bad for their personal hair choices by saying they are self haters or “hair hats” or other demeaning comments. If you don’t like weaves don’t wear them and if you are man that doesn’t like it don’t date women who wear them, no one is forcing you to date these women.
Well we WANT to make these women feel bad about their choice to hide their natural hair by wearing another woman’s natural hair. Since the whole world is laughing at you black women behind your back I would prefer that they laugh at you to your face that you finally get the message.
Nobody wants to tell you the truth because so many of you are known for being rambunctious, loud, obnoxious and combative ….and NOBODY wants to deal with that.
But if you could maintain civility for a few moments a lot of people would tell you the truth. Most of you look completely ridiculous running around and running your fingers through and flipping a white woman’s natural hair and using it to hide your own natural hair that you obviously loathe, detest and are ashamed of! 🤔
And by the way it is all “WHITE woman’s hair!” … Because white women and all other non black women have the same basic hair type and texture that you black women idolize!
And if a man prefers that hair type he’d be much better off getting a woman who can grow it naturally instead of one who has to use smelly glue or weave it into her short nappy braids which nobody has ever seen because she is ashamed of what her natural DNA produces.
You black women can be in denial or you want but there are reasons that you are the very least married of ALL races of women and the second least married a white women who still married twice the rate that black women do.
So maybe a man will f*** you if you glue on the hair of a woman you feel a superior to you but they obviously don’t want to marry you. So perhaps you’d be better off just being yourself and becoming a lot more fit and feminine and perhaps you’ll find a husband who will love you who for who you truly are not for who he wishes you were because you’re wearing a superior woman’s hair.
And yes I did say “Superior woman!” What I think about those women is irrelevant, it is obviously you who feel that every other race of woman is superior to you because you wish you had the type of hair they all have. But none of those women would ever ever in a million years use your hair to hide their own natural hair cuz they do NOT feel that YOUR hair is “superior” to theirs! 🙄
This is just simple logic and deductive reasoning.
Shalom every single one of you that confirmed this lady’s denial of self loathing and hate is masturbating’s to the salacious deceptive intelligence that she use to justify her wrong doing. Its scientific proof that wearing weave interferes with your hair growth. I surmise that you will use whatever possible to conceal the real you that you so obviously detest. Get your minds right tune in to my pod cast https://youtu.be/-RZ9MugWAzU
Weave is self hate. If you’re wearing weave that matches your texture, you’re in the minority. But it’s still wrong. Just know that hair is essentially the same as straight remy it’s just PROCESSED to have a curl. It does not come from women of a black race. Idk why y’all can’t be bothered to wear your hair out 24/7. Plenty of women do it. I have 3c-4b but I know dozens of 4c women who don’t make the excuses you do.
I went natural five years ago and the amount of self love and respect I got from others increased during that time. Wearing someone else’s hair is barbaric, creepy, and men need to stop giving y’all attention when they see that you do it. My husband adores my natural hair and running his fingers through it. Fake hair covers up your natural pheromones and there is NO GOOD EXCUSE for wearing it. Do better!
@Erica Williams 🙄 The ultimate sign of *”low self-esteem”* is when you hide your natural hair in shame proudly covering it with another races natural hair …which is of a completely different type and texture than your own …which is WHY you do it!
And black women have the market cornered on that. In fact they are the ONLY group who do this. NOBODY else! As a black man, I would be veryashamed of my race/gender group IF black men were known for running around with white man’s hair glued to our heads hiding our own natural hair in shame the way black women do. (Even though I would never do it myself it would still be a very shameful thing that would be an EMBARRASSMENT!) And we black man would certainly be coming for the black men who did such a pathetic and shameful thing!
(You would NEVER hear black men saying:) _”Hey bro, nice pelt …is that Argentinian weave, Brazilian or European? I’m ’bout to get mine hooked up too bro. Know where I can get me a bag of some good straight hair …at a discount?”_ 😖
Do whatever you can or whatever you want with your own hair: Die it, fry it, lay it to the side, braid it; twist it; love it; cut it; shave it …but when you *HIDE* it underneath the natural hair of another race of women YOU are embarrassment to the race!
You hide your natural hair because you are ashamed of it and that is your personal issue. But when you cover your natural hair with the hair of women who you OBVIOUSLY feel are so Superior to you, it becomes an issue for the race and we just may tell you how a MAJORITY of us actually feel because we don’t mind the smoke. 💨
We THINK that you are “INSECURE” …because you most definitely *ARE* “insecure” …but you’re even too INSECURE to admit it! 🙄 Every other race of women love their natural hair and would never wear a wig or weave of a hair type and texture dramatically different than their own. (In order for them to do that they would have to wear black women’s hair) and we all know that’s NEVER going to happen unless it’s on Halloween …as a joke.
The difference is that if black men wore white men’s hair and used it to cover and hide our own natural hair we would be man enough to ADMIT that our own natural hair makes us feel “INSECURE” in a white dominated society and that’s why we do it! 🤔
But women in general seem to have a problem with honesty and the biggest lies are the ones you tell to yourselves.
Men are much more willing to accept ourselves as we are. How many fat men do you see stuffing themselves into a girdle to hide their bellies or man titties. If we don’t like the way we look we’ll lose weight or go to the gym.
How many men do you see putting on pounds of makeup to hide their facial flaws and how they look naturally? How many short men do you say running around in 6-in stilettos trying to give the appearance of being taller than he is? You don’t see real men wearing eyebrow liner, eyelash extensions or fake mustaches and beards. With men what you see is what you get.
A BBL (Brazilian Butt Lift) is no different than if men were to go get fake biceps triceps and pectoral muscles and abs to give the appearance of being more fit than we are.
Only women do these things as a rule and black women are the absolute worst when it comes to this. Time will show you what we are trying to tell you. You probably will have an epiphany moment when 20 years from now most of you are still single and alone. Oh yes, men will absolutely run through you and make deposits which is the main reason most men will not I tell you these things.
Even the man who compliments you on your fakeness would NEVER want to be stuck with or settle for a woman who’s ashamed of her own natural self. 😖 We know that if somebody did marry you, you would get comfortable and he’d be stuck with the REAL you. And THAT is what we would have to look at every day. 😖
I love running my fingers through my wife’s natural hair and stroking it. It would feel weird as hell if I was actually running my finger through another woman’s hair that was glued on her head! 😖
That is just incomprehensively weird and distasteful! 😖
Sir, the fact that you have time to comment on this shows how much you really got going on. You in women spaces, worried about how we are styling our hair?
This entire article is ridiculous. When you love something you show it off because you’re proud of it and that includes your hair. Weave is most definitely self hate. Women wear weave because they hair their real hair. Point blank and black men have a right to voice their opinions on it.
I’m black my hair is down the middle of my back!! I wear wigs (that are very well taken care of)
And I don’t hate myself because my boyfriend and I both know that I’m not bald. Also it’s fun to wear sometimes..
Let’s keep in mind though some women wear weave or wigs because of chemotherapy/ may be burn victims/domestic violence/diabetes now would we ridicule them for their choices???…. The list can go on…. Let’s not be one track minded to make a point….
Great article by author
Its called brainwashing. Although I agree with the self hate comments I believe it’s because of the centuries of brainwashing and oppression of black men and women. First of all the black women who were slaves were forced to cover, shave and cut their hair because white women were intimidated by our beauty. This got passed on generationally. Their white men were mesmerized by us. That’s why they raped us and obsessed over our bodies and still do so do their “superior” women. A “superior” race of women if they were truly that wouldn’t need to go out of their way to dehumanize nor disrespect others if they were indeed “superior “. Black men self hate too. They get haircuts. Why aren’t you letting your hair grow? Black men get haircuts to look like the white man. If that wasn’t the case why aren’t black men letting their hair grow by locking and braiding. They are just as guilty. I’ve heard black men say I dont want a dark skin baby. Sounds like the worst self hate you can have of not loving who you see in the mirror. They self hate because they want light skin European,Asian, and Hispanic looking children that obviously look nothing like themselves. GTF outta here. If black women are guilty of self hatred so are you black men! And for the ones with white women if white women were all that besides their hair why is it that most black men I’ve met may have children with them but never marry them. What statistics are you following? I see them all the time with their 3 or 4 bi racial children that they’ve had with different black, and latino men. I’ve heard black men complain about them. How they will screw all the black men in your family. How they are intrusive, ,expensive, controlling, bossy and racist. So stfu colorists and self hating black men. I dont see white, Asian or Hispanic men having children with other women in swarms who dont look like them the way black men are now that’s self hatred. If we get locs or embrace our hair you same black men still criticize and call our hair “nappy and smelly” eventhough it is not. Your white women she’d like dogs and have super oily hair. They go bald, smell like dogs, hate taking care of their husbands, parents, themselves and children when they get sick. They are some of the most entitled and insensitive women on the planet. I would never want to be like them. I was once lost but never again. Black men before slavery didn’t have to convince anyone of the value of black women. White men go out of their way to convince the world to worship their white women. Say what you want to say because you are entitled to your opinion but white women will never be “superior ” to us. I’ve been around white women they are some of the most insecure women out there. They use black,Asian, and any woman who doesn’t look like them as scapegoats for their insecurities. You’ll be in a nursing home soon if you fall ill and your white “superior ” wife will absolutely replace you with a dildo or one of your male relatives with the insurance policy money she took out on you once your gone. Once black women understand their worth trust me we will surpass black men and their ignorance. My black women it’s time to embrace our true beauty and watch how we will flourish spiritually, mentally and physically. I’ve started my loc journey. I’m no longer hiding who I am because “Becky ” doesn’t like who she is. The brainwashing is unraveling now. Good luck with your entitled inferior bitches. No loss to us. We were the original Queens and always will be.
This article has very little factual information . Mainly emotions . You accused men who make these comments to be misogynistic while saying some stuff that misandrist. Typical