You wouldn’t believe it but a common question that people ask about going natural is “Will My Hair Look Nappy?” or “I don’t have that good hair, so I don’t think it will look right“. Obviously, the use of the word nappy here, has a negative connotation, but who says that nappy, kinky, or coily hair is bad, and who made up these rules? Kinky or nappy hair is not bad hair, hair is hair, and as long as it is healthy it is good hair.
Now, we have all seen people with unkempt natural hair, but this should never be applied to everyone who wears their hair natural. There are just as many relaxed women who walk around with their hair looking a hot mess, if not worse. The point being is that it all depends on how well you maintain your hair no matter if you decide to relax your hair, wear it natural, texturize it or what have you.
People who are concerned about whether or not their hair will look nappy, probably shouldn’t bother going natural in the first place because they are probably interested for all of the wrong reasons. Going natural should not be a fashion trend, as for some people it is. Making the move to go back to your hair’s natural state should be done because of a healthy lifestyle choice.
Yes, seeing all of the women who rock their curly twists outs and braid outs can be alluring, but keep in mind everyone’s hair is not the same. Your hair is not going to look like the next girl that you saw walking down the street or your favorite natural hair blogger on YouTube. Your hair is unique to you, and if you are not willing to settle for the hair that you were born with, and there is a chance that you may have what is not considered “good hair”, then you should stick to your relaxer until you are ready.
I disagree with some things in this post. I don’t think there’s a right or wrong reason for someone to go natural. If you decide to stop relaxing because you want to grow long hair, that doesn’t make you any less “real” than someone else. If you want to dread because it’s the in thing to do, so be it.
I also don’t think someone worrying about how their hair will look automatically means they’re not ready for natural hair. It’s natural (no pun intended lol) to be curious about your hair’s texture after so many years of relaxing.
I feel you it is natural to be curious about your hair’s texture. I know I was. However, just because I discovered that my hair is kinky and I don’t have loose ringlets that didn’t make me think any less of my hair.
I just wanted to point out that there is a good chance that your hair may not live up to the “good hair” expectations. If you are at a point where you are not willing to accept that then sticking to a relaxer is the better option.
My problem is with people who think nappy, kinky, or coily hair is bad hair. It’s a ignorant comment and simply the result of years of brainwashing, and this is what I take issue with.
I have just decided that I’m going to stop relaxing my hair because I miss it and I only got relaxers because of negative influence by my family, I have actually been jealous of people with Afros and linkier hair which I guess is not common, I have kinky hair but it grows outward and down rather than sticking up so I look more like Thing 1 from doctor Seuss than erykah badu lol, but I believe that ik my hair is definitely good hair I love it I love curls period
*kinkier
*kinky hair is definitely good hair
Dear Ariane,
Thank you for your blog. I have been having hair challenges with my daughter for quite some time. It is difficult for her to embrace her natural hair, primarily because culturally, she is in the minority at her school, and secondarily because of manageability. She refuses perms because she does not want chemicals in her hair, which I appreciate. However, her hair only remains straight, (which is what she wants at this stage), for two to three days. The Dominican salon makes it straight, but the heat they use is too hot. She is only twelve, but has the mind of a twenty year old, (as you can imagine). We tried Keratin treatments, (which I never would have considered doing because of the cost), but to no avail. The first one was a glycolic treatment which faired better than the second “regular” keratin treatment. Atleast the hairdresser was honest enough not to recommend it since she plays sports and her hair just sweats-out anyway. How can I help her embrace her natural hair and encourage/empower her toward healthier hair. Thank you for your time.
Thank you for being a reader 🙂
Here’s my advice to you:
#1 If you are not embracing your natural hair, do so now! I know it’s a big step, but you have to lead by example.
#2 Style her hair in natural hairstyles that make her feel pretty. Try doing twist outs, braid outs, bantu knot outs. These are all gorgeous styles that help to show off the beauty of her hair without resorting to heat. (If you can not do it find a stylist or friend that can). They also help to stretch the hair.
#3 When she wears straight styles a good way to extend the style without resorting to heat is to roller set the hair. This takes away the frizzies.
#4 Frequent heat use will lead to damage, so it is best that she relies on use braids, twists, or roller sets to stretch her hair out.